Some Crazy Bullshit

Is there a time in the near future when I get to be selfish? I try to be helpful and kind and all this other stuff but when will I have someone ask, "Are you okay?" (Not that I'd accept the help, I'm far too proud/stubborn for any type of help) I just want to be able to relax, but at the same time, relaxation is.... boring. I want.. I don't even know what I want. I need some, please, to tell me what I want.


My thoughts are jumping around right now. A little over an hour ago, I was trying to sleep and now I'm counseling a premature couple doomed to failure, texting a girl whom I'd love to be in a relationship with but that'll never work, and skyping my #1 fan. I went from Bored Beyond Belief to Motivational Speaker, Time Traveler and Marriage Counselor in a solid 30 seconds. But that's how I survive. I persuade people to live their lives a certain way then live vicariously through them. Which brings us back to being selfish... I need to get my own life and butt-out of others'. At this point, I'm beyond help and just here for a cheap laugh for some pathetic soul who desperately needs professional help. I guess I'm the calm before the storm, except I just prolong the enviable mental breakdown and make the psychological torture a little worse. It's all done with good intentions though so I guess that makes it acceptable and okay that I keep doing it. But at the same time, I wonder whether or not I'm really making a positive change in someone's life. Just the thought of me helping someone, somewhere, with their little highschool bullshit drama is fuel enough to make me continue. After all, I just want everyone to be happy and smile for once. Is that to much to ask for?