Inspiration

I realize that my post are extremely sporadic and unpredictable but that's because I write when I'm inspired. And for me, inspiration strikes as rapidly as lightning and that spark comes and goes just as fast. It could come from literately anything at any time. It could be a picture I see or a joke I hear or, in this case, it was a far from average cheerleader at Relay for Life.
She is by far one of the most amazing people I have ever met. In a few short moments, we were fast friends. We cracked jokes left and right, poked fun at every passerby and just shot the shit. It was great! and the best part was she is just as weird as I am. I'm not entirely sure how to describe her to be honest and this is the first time I've actually been at a loss for words. 
I just thought it'd be nice to milk this inspirational cow while it was still fruitful. 


Moo, bro. Moo.

Things I Wish I Could Say: Part. 1

No filter, just bullets.

• I wish you would get over yourself. Sure you used to be all I thought of but I hate what you've become and everything you stand for.
• You're a fat sack of shit and will never amount to anything in life. If someone offers to assist you, you get off your fucking high horse and eat a piece of humble pie. You should try to eat that rather then the mounds of grease and fat you swallow down on a daily basis.
• I'm not stupid. I'm not dumb. Sure I'm immature at times but I do it for fun. ps. you have really pretty hair.
• You remind me of the teacher in Jimmy Neutron.
• I love you and I'm sure I always will. With that being said, please kindly go fuck yourself. 
• You need to ask for more help. I'm sure you have the drive to do it yourself but I want to see you happy and you need help with that. So please, just let me help you in anyway you need. And please let yourself look pretty, you're a really good looking girl but no one can tell under that hoodie. 
• Why can't I ever be right with you? Apparently, everything I say needs to get shot down from your self righteousness attitude and your smug "life lessons". I realize you're smart and wise and everything but please let me be right for once.
• I thank you for teaching me important life lessons and getting on my back to get work done. Love ya, mean it!
• You are my rock. My anchor. My north star. My metaphorical red-nosed reindeer. You give me insight and endless amounts of wisdom. And you gave me clothes today, that was pretty cool of you.
• You cry too much. Life isn't going to give you what you want when you reach a certain age. But it doesn't matter because you're like 4 and you don't give a shit about anyone but yourself.
• You've gained a few pounds but you're still pretty. People don't agree with me but they can go die. I wish you would blow me. 
• I wish I could stop lying to you but you like my tall tales and they seem to make you happy. I think of my lying as a kind of "Santa Clause" type lie but that's my opinion. 

Rory mad. Rory smash.

It may just be the stress of finals around the corner. It could be the stupidity of others. It very well may just be hormones! But whatever the cause, the point is I've been mad. Mad with myself, mad with school, mad with girls, just overall mad at the world. Being mad isn't what's bugging me though... I'm discomforted with the fact that I think it's good that I'm mad.
For about 3 years, I'm been preaching "Peace, Love and Happiness" and practicing it religiously; but I've never taken a big step back and actually felt an aggressive, intense, hostile feeling towards everyone and everything like this before. I mean, I've had this irritable "itch" of anger but never fell to the temptation of scratching it. For the duration of those three serene years, I've kept my cool (excluding sporting events) and collected my thoughts before making a poor decision. But lately, I feel the need to break things... For example, just a few days ago, my younger brother was mouthing back to my father and all I could think about was punching him in the mouth. That's just an example of the type of barbaric, destructive thoughts that not only race through my mind, but break mach 5 speeds and shatter panes of glass. 
I'm getting mad over things I shouldn't get mad about. Like a friend of the opposite sex liking some kid, a bone-headed soccer player making a snide remarks, or a chemistry problem I KNOW the answer to. I toss around inanimate objects as if they were the catalyst of my feelings and punch almost anything I can get my hands on. I have cuts and scars peppered along my right hand to prove it. 
On the other hand, I'm getting mad over things any average teenage boy my age would be frustrated with. Just off the top of my head, I can think of a few things that piss me off: getting dumped would sit at the top of that list. Shortly following that would be my drive (or lack thereof) to do well in school. Those issues are tailed by little things like "not having my licence yet", "not getting a job" or "lack of a girlfriend" but those first two are really grinding my gears.
I know we weren't exactly dating but I feel like it was a relationship. Actually, as I type this, I'm a little embarrassed that I'm still harping on the subject. She's moved on so I should follow suit. But I digress, anyone would feel at least peeved from getting dumped if they really felt strongly for the other person. And if you're someone who doesn't mind getting dumped, please, share your feelings. I'm interested to hear your burning passion for ending relationships via cardiac mutilation.  
I really can't do anything about that particular "itch" so for now, I'm just going to have to scratch the hell out of it. However, I can and will do something about my productivity in school. I will start projects before the eve of the presentation. I will throw "study parties" by myself and "get jiggy" with flashcards. And lastly, I will   strive for nothing but excellence in every aspect of the remainder of my high school career. For action there is a reaction. With that being said, every time I fall to the temptation of doing the homework minutes before the class, I draw nearer to that McDonalds name tag being glued to my chest for the entirety of my life with no one to blame but myself. And although I know the appropriate time for action isn't now, but 3 years ago, I know that the sooner I come to the striking realization of the importance of high school, the sooner I can enter the world as a mature adult. 
But what do I know? I'm just a kid with a keyboard and a head full of ideas.