No.

You're wrong. Not just about me, but everything. And let me say this: you know nothing of me. I am who I say I am. I act the why I chose to act. And I love the way.. my heart tells me too. My heart beats when my mind tells it to but my mind beats because my heart asked it to. Being a slave to the fickleness and tenderness of the heart combined with the aggressiveness and ominousness of the mind is a terrible lifestyle. And yet it's a comfortable feeling knowing your future is within yourself. So tonight becomes another Sunday with me fitting myself in an awful alliterative atmosphere. Mild medication followed by modest meditation. Thinking and thinking about me and who and we and why and what. Too many questions, too much stress. I don't want to make it stop but I'd do just about anything to slam on the brakes right about now. It's just rapid fire shock waves of needles penetrating and digging deeper and deeper. It's every brain synopsis for itself. I guess being swamped with questions is my mind's way of coping with a bad situation  I'm still trying to make sense of this but it's hard to know up from down when your left is north. You know?
I'll try to break it down for you. There's this wall. And it's tall. Really tall. Like I can't see over it, I can't hear over it and I can't even feel a presence over it. And it's long. Really long. Like long enough that I'd need to rest for a while if I started walking in one direction for too long. And this wall; this massive wall is falling. Towards me. And I can run and avoid it for now but it's still going to be there. Forever biting at my heels. Forever casting a shadow on me. Forever chasing me down. And while all this is happening, my mind conjures up the brilliant idea to stop running, face the wall, and ask at it.
"Good evening Mr. Wall of impending Doom. I'm just a little curious as to what material you're made of. And also, how long did it take to construct you? Why are you falling? What political party are you affiliated with?"
And low and behold! The wall stops! It takes a moment to ponder these queries. 
For those of you who aren't the best at picking up on symbolism, I'm going to break it down for you again. This wall, is representative of any and all situations I encounter. And playing the role of the questions is my coping mechanism. Sure it could be better but you get what you get. 
And now the fun part when I try to make sense of this. For me... this situation parallels how I deal with negative emotions and activities? I ignore the collapsing monument by blasting inquires like there's no tomorrow. Is this healthy? Probably not. Is it easy? Not as much as you'd think. Is it tedious? You betcha. But I continue finding questions to stall the storm. My refusal of the truth is so extreme that even when I run out of questions and that wall tremors and tumbles I stand my ground and toss all forms of punctuation until
                                                      !?!?!??,??!!!?!?!,,,?!??!?!?!??!?!!?!?
!?!?!??,??!!,!,,?!?!?!?,,?!?,!?!??!,?!!?!?!?!?!??,,??!!!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?!????!,!!?!?!?!??!?!,,?!??!?!!?!?!?!?!?,,,?,,,??!!!,?,!?!?!??!,?!?!,??!?,!!?!?!?!?,,!,??!!!?!?!?!??,,!?!?!?,?!?!!?!?,?!?!?,???!!!,,?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?!????!!!?!?!?!??,,!?!?!??!?!!?,,!?!?!?!????!!!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?!????!!!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!



 .period. 




i run out of lies to believe
the truth hits and im shattered
i start feeling that burning
                                 pulsating
                                         throbbing
Sickness

it starts in my stomach and spreads throughout
like a cancer

This is when I feel I'm at my lowest. This is how I felt yesterday. This is not depression. This is simply my mind at it's finest. Ladies and gentleman, a round of applesauce for the artist, the creator, the master. He's always there to keep me on my toes. Have me always thinking. Thinking. Maybe some more thinking. I guess what I'm trying to say is no I am not perfect. Yes my thought process is flawed. No I'm not sure I did the right thing. Yes I did mean to say applesauce up there. Living with a mind with a heart with a mind of it's own is tough and if you understand that last bit back there, congratulations! You have it just as bad as I do. Goodluck.